


Existence

by Lafaiette



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 15:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8850313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafaiette/pseuds/Lafaiette
Summary: He is furious. Angry at everything and everyone for having hurt Scarlet, for having let someone hurt her. 
He sees her lying on a clean bedroll, still bloody and weak, and his heart breaks.





	

She goes to Val Royeaux accompanied by Vivienne, Cassandra, and Varric. 

The Enchanter needs to talk with some important members of the Chantry and offers Scarlet to come with her.

“We could enjoy a lovely day in the capital later.” she says, smiling at Cassandra who is there too. “It would be also a nice occasion to visit the shops… and the bookshops, I suppose.”

It is a well-deserved break, the three women think, and so they leave, hoping to come back with important alliances, more money and resources, and, possibly, also new armors and useful books.

Solas doesn’t go with them. Not because he doesn’t want to or because Scarlet asks him to stay at Skyhold. The reason is maddening and he sulks and pouts for the whole time, nervous and impatient, worried and grim.

He considers himself - not without pride mixed with self-confidence mixed with love - the only one capable enough to protect Scarlet and ensure a safe journey for her. 

Vivienne is a great mage, but her techniques are Chantry-taught and her magic has been honed by the severe controls of the Circle. She fights following rules and old teachings, not her instincts and the natural call of the Fade.

Just like Dorian. While his style is much different from hers, with less rules, he lacks the easiness that comes natural to Solas, that sense of balance and imbalance that makes magic so beautiful and so much more powerful.

Neither humans are good enough to protect Scarlet. They are great mages, but his barriers last longer, his spells are stronger, his affinity to the Veil and the Fade much better than necromancy and the Chantry-twisted abilities of a Knight Enchanter.

This is what he believes and so he curses at his leg, which still ache terribly after a bad fight against a bear; no matter the potion, tonic, or spell he uses, the pain doesn’t lessen, not much at least, and so he is still forced to stay within the walls of Skyhold.

“Be careful, my love.” he tells Scarlet the day she leaves. He kisses her in front of everyone and she blushes adorably, smiling, and promises him that she will pay attention on the road.

“Take care of your leg.” she reminds him, kissing him in return. “I will bring you some frilly cakes and that chocolate pie you love so much!”

And she leaves like that, grinning ear to ear, bright like the sun, and Solas feels empty and lonely. The fortress seems cold and dark without her and the days pass slowly.

He refuses to sleep in her quarters, in their large bed; she isn’t there with him and her absence would feel even worse, so he temporarily moves back to his old room.

It feels bad all the same, but it doesn’t matter. He brings her yellow shawl to press it on his face before falling asleep and he finds her in the Fade every night.

“Are you well?” he asks immediately, before she can even get used to the new landscape he brought her in. She giggles every time and kisses him, reassuring him that yes, she is fine.

“What about you, _vhenan_?” she always asks, brows knitting in concern. “Your leg?”

The journey to Val Royeaux from Skyhold takes nearly sixteen days on horseback. She will stay there for at least two or three days, then two more weeks of wait.

He will go mad. 

There are his studies and papers and books to keep him occupied, but it’s not the same and every time he thinks about getting up to show her something interesting he just found or read, he remembers she is not there.

Meals feel too long and even the others are affected by her absence: Dorian complains loudly because he has nobody to discuss books and childhood stories with, Sera came up with some new pranks to do with her, but she isn’t back yet, Leliana misses their talks near her altar, sipping a glass of good wine and honey, Cole always talks about her to his beloved animals.

And Solas retreats back into his shell, smiling and helping the others when his help is required, but talking little and frowning a lot the rest of the time, counting the seconds and dedicating himself wholly to his studies until his head hurts and his eyes burn.

Now that she is part of his life, even a short time without her feels like a nightmare, especially because he knows that she is so far-away, in a city full of humans who despise the elven race, and that she has to travel on lonely, long roads with just three companions. It makes him go mad with worry.

For once, his fears are justified: Scarlet comes back home on a stretcher, her face covered in blood.

Solas notices that something is wrong the moment he hears cries in the courtyard. People outside the rotunda walk fast and run towards the stairs, heading to the gates, and he hears Josephine and Cullen’s shouts of alarm.

He scrambles on his feet, ignoring the books and papers that fall on the ground, and runs out, followed by an equally worried Dorian and Leliana.

“What is happening??” the Altus exclaims, the answer already in his eyes. “Is it…?”

“I don’t know!” Solas’ heart slams against his chest, painful and loud, and he feels icy shivers run down his spine, followed by cold sweat. “I can’t see anything with all these people!”

He pushes them away, elbowing his way to the gates. He sees the healer and two mages of the Mage Tower there, surrounding a stretcher; Scarlet’s hart and Vivienne’s horse are nearby, wounded, but alive.

“Maker!” he hears Leliana gasp. “It’s the Inquisitor!”

And then he sees her, lying on the stretcher, too weak to speak and move. 

Vivienne is kneeling next to her, drinking a bottle of mana as if her life depended on it; she is terribly pale, her face narrow, and her clothes are dirty with blood. 

Cassandra is arguing with Cullen, her eyes bloodshot, a tight bandage wrapped around her arm. She limps when she moves to turn to Josephine and she is slightly bended forward, as if her back hurts. 

Varric is wounded too, but at least he can stand. He is leaning heavily on his crossbow, accepting the concoction one of the mages is giving him, but his eyes are tired and his lips cracked.

“Quickly, bring me the health potions on my desk!” the healer orders to a man after passing a cloth over Scarlet’s face. It’s more visible now and Solas lets out a horrified shout before running to her and kneeling at her side.

“ _Ma vhenan_!” he cries out, hands hovering over her, not daring to touch her. “Scarlet!”

A wheezing sound comes out of her mouth every time she breathes and her eyes are barely open. He feels like crying, but then fury comes too.

“What happened?!” he asks with a hiss, glaring at Vivienne, Cassandra, and Varric. “ _What happened?_ Why is she in these conditions?! Why didn’t you use magic or…”

“There was an ambush near Skyhold.” Vivienne explains coldly, angry more at herself than at those who attacked them. “Venatori. We underestimated them.” Her hard gaze softens as she glances down at Scarlet. “Believe me when I say we did everything we could to help her better.”

“Vivienne used most of her mana to attack, while Scarlet insisted to have me and Varric drink all the health potions we had.” Cassandra continues, her guilt resonating in every words. She looks away, ashamed, fists clenched. “We were foolish.”

Solas bites his lips to avoid saying anything he might regret later and looks down at Scarlet again, his hands gently cradling her face. She manages to smile at him, but no sound comes out of her mouth when she tries to speak.

“Shh, _vhenan_. _Hamin_.” he coos, summoning all his power and focusing it into his palms. Soothing healing magic envelops them and Scarlet, a silver-blue glow that makes her sigh in relief. 

It’s more powerful and more effective than the healing magic the other mages were using before his arrival and some improvements can already be seen on her face and body. She regains some colour on her cheeks and her breathing is less difficult and worryingly loud.

“Thank you.” she croaks out and he smiles at her, blinking away the tears in his eyes. Next to him, Dorian is arguing with the other three companions, cursing their stupidity.

“Did you _seriously_ think that just one health potion would be enough? What in the Void were you thinking?”

The Altus crouches down for a moment to talk to Scarlet, his expression immediately sweeter and cheerful: “Hi there, _amica mea_. Don’t worry now, your bald boyfriend and your charming best friend are here.”

She giggles at that and Solas thinks, for the millionth time, that that’s the best sound in both the waking world and the Fade.

He keeps using his magic on her, observed by the crowd that approached them. He pays it no mind, murmuring tender words to Scarlet and caressing her hair. 

The healer helps her drink the health potions, then checks the most serious wounds that still haven’t closed.

“I will need bandages for these.” she says. “We must bring her to the infirmary now.”

Solas barely looks at her, too lost into Scarlet’s face.

“Yes. Yes, of course.”

He helps Dorian and the healer carry the stretcher into the cozy room that is the infirmary and finally the crowd disperses, also thanks to Josephine and Cullen’s efforts. 

He vaguely hears Bull and Sera curse and swear outside and sees Varric look into the room with guilty, sad eyes.

Solas glares at him and slams the door shut.

He is _furious_. Angry at everything and everyone for having hurt Scarlet, for having let someone hurt her. He sees her lying on a clean bedroll, still bloody and weak, and his heart breaks.

Losing her would mean his death. Not physical - although he isn’t sure of that -, but surely psychological and mental. He would be an empty shell and there would be nothing else left on this world for him except his painful, terrifying duty.

He kneels next to her again as the healer wraps long bandages around her limbs, helped by Dorian, and he lets out a muffled sob.

“ _Ma vhenan_.” he calls softly and she opens her eyes again and smiles at him.

“I will never let you go somewhere without me again.” he promises, leaning down to kiss her forehead, then her nose, then her lips. “I will follow you everywhere.”

“How…” she starts, but she has to clear her throat and swallow to be able to continue. “How is your leg?”

She is worrying about his leg _now_? Right in this moment, when she is barely conscious and she nearly lost her life?

He doesn’t deserve her. _This world_ doesn’t deserve her.

He sobs again and presses his forehead against hers, murmuring while holding her right hand in both his hands:

“It’s fine, _vhenan_. It’s fine now.”

“Good.” she smiles, closing her eyes and slipping into a peaceful sleep. “Good.”

He stays with her the whole night, sleeping in the infirmary on a cot next to her.

He finds her in the Fade, where she is in good health albeit a bit pale, and she cries quietly against his chest as he hugs her tightly, mouth pressed on her hair.

“I… I thought I was about to die.” she murmurs, raising her face to look at him with wet, sad eyes. He is shaking and she holds him tighter.

“I was so scared, scared of not seeing you again, not even one last time. I prayed the Creators _‘Please, let me see him one last time, please let me see him again.’_ ” _  
_

She peppers his face with kisses and brushes her cheek against his, craving contact, craving the feeling of his skin on hers just like he craves it.

“I didn’t want to leave you, Solas, I don’t ever want to leave you, because you would be alone, I know it’s not the same for you even if the others are here and I love you, _ma sa’lath_ , _ar lath, ma vhenan_ , so much, so much…”

She hiccups and he changes the Fade around them, both to chase away the spirits attracted to her fear and tears and to let her see a brighter, more comfortable place.

He chooses a beautiful clearing and she slowly calms down; he takes her face in his hands and starts a gentle kiss that gradually becomes deeper and more heated, passionate, almost urgent.

“My love.” he gasps when they pull back. “Scarlet, I cannot live without you.”

He wonders for a moment how he will be able to lose her once his identity is revealed to her, once the Veil falls, but then he thinks that might not be necessary, that there might another way or perhaps he might stop altogether and lose himself into her for all the time given to them in this world, or perhaps even for all eternity if another path is found…

He clings to that hope and basks in the glory and bliss that her existence, her being alive, gives to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from Tumblr! Anon wanted to see Solas and Dorian's reactions upon seeing Scarlet come back to Skyhold seriously hurt after a trip they weren't part of.
> 
> It seems I can still write some angst after all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But I promise I will go back to my usual fluffy self for Christmas ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


End file.
